Tag Archives: talk

Top 10 Lists

You know those lists that rank the top 10 in whatever category you can make think off. Generally, I take it all with a pinch of salt because these lists tend to pander to stereotypes. But a couple of years ago, I found this one (I think it was in a forwarded email) and edited it ever-so-slightly to make it a perfect fit for me and posted it on Facebook for my George. I was surprised and pleased to find a list that seemed to be reflective of me. I have pasted that list of 20 ‘things girls want guys to know’.

  1. I love when you cuddle with me
  2. A kiss on the cheek is a definite yes
  3. I want you to put your arm around me at the movies
  4. I don’t care if you are the strongest guy in the world
  5. Size doesn’t always matter so don’t stress
  6. I don’t always look my best so get over it
  7. I shouldn’t have to plan everything
  8. I’m always ready to talk so call/text or talk to me
  9. I’m not perfect and I never claimed I was
  10. I love surprises
  11. The little things you do mean the most
  12. I like boy stuff too (you know it too!)
  13. Cursing & fighting doesn’t impress me (in fact the complete opposite)
  14. Don’t be mean to me to get my attention
  15. I can tell when you’re not listening so fix up and listen to my pearls of wisdom (let’s face it, I’m always right!)
  16. When I say I’m cold, that’s your cue to come closer
  17. Hugs mean more sometimes (or should that be most times?)
  18. I need your advice sometimes so don’t be afraid to offer it to me
  19. I will take good care of you if you treat me right
  20. I will love you more 😀

 

All 20 items are absolutely applicable to me especially how much I appreciate a hug, a cuddle and a kiss on the cheek. For a relationship to work, I totally believe in items nos 8 and 9. 11 is so true and I keep reminding my dear husband of that fact. George, my hubby, insists that he is not romantic in the slightest. That is a huge untruth because George will swear blind that no 6 doesn’t apply to me. He claims I look perfect all the time which to me qualifies him easily as the most romantic man I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. I know that of course it is not true but psychologically, it really doesn’t matter because at the end of the day, I know he sees perfection in me because he looks at me through love-tinted glasses. When he looks at me, he looks at me with such appreciation and I can tell you, it is great for my self-confidence and body image. Since meeting George, I find that when I look in the mirror and all I can see are my flaws, I am able to say to myself it really isn’t that bad and not sink into depression as I used to on rare occasions in my younger days.

No 20 is rather funny because in the early days of our relationship, I would say that to my husband and he would get upset because he thought I was questioning his love for me. As he knows now, that is not the point of that statement. Despite my competitive nature, when it comes to love for me it is the opposite of competition. It is the ultimate team pursuit where the strength in the individuals promotes strength in the team greater than the sum of the individual strengths. So when I say no 20, I mean to say I love you more than you realise. I do not mean that my love for you is greater than your love for me. I mean to say that every day I love you more. And I mean to say that I pray to love you even more every time I say those words. So who says women are complicated? I genuinely believe that if my husband could apply these items to our everyday life, he would make me the happiest wife in the world. Simples!

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Girly Man

I listen to Ed & Rachel on Heart FM on my daily drive in to work (as I always do because it is the best programme on radio!). Yesterday’s morning’s phone-in was about celebrating the ‘girly’ things that our men do that we think are great. So that got me thinking and this blog was born. Before I do that, let me just say I do not actually think these things are girly. I think the things I will praise below are just nice, lovely, sensitive traits that are brilliant regardless of gender. It is just that because men have the wrong idea about what it is to be a man, these nice things are now feminised. So to the men in my life whose traits I will be praising, I want to reassure you that I am in no way questioning your manhood or masculinity. I am celebrating you in all you glory!

My granddad, he of the military ways, is the only man I know who always has lip balm with him and applies liberally. Also, he moisturises daily and I know this is still true because last time I went home, I decided not to take any moisturiser with me and the only place I could find some was in my granddad’s bathroom. He had several bottles of lovely stuff and my skin was happy throughout the holiday. More importantly, he has lovely moisturised skin, his diabetic feet are the most beautiful I have ever seen and he has none of the skin complications associated with diabetes and hypertension. Well done Baba!

My teenage cousin (Baby A if you have read my blog) is a very creative boy and one of his ‘hobbies’ is cooking. He can cook a 3 course meal and seems to enjoy it but what I was most impressed by is that he can cook the loveliest crepes (thin pancakes). Impressed not only that he can make them delicious, thin, round and unbroken but also that he uses reconstituted powdered milk and if I hadn’t know, I would never have guessed. He also gives lovely hugs and likes to sit and talk about the important things in his life. And when I am not in the same town as he is (which is most of the time these days), he will often say hi or good night or send me emoticon hugs randomly. Warms my heart I tell you.

My brother-in-law’s best ‘girly’ trait is that he celebrates his love for his family. When he and my sister moved into their home, he spent a considerable amount of time and money choosing and framing pictures of their close family members. And by their family, I mean his family and my family. Imagine my surprise when I found the loveliest framed photo of my mama’s in their bedroom and one of me with the pictures of his sisters in his study. Awwwh! The other thing is his ability to turn the volume up when his favourite music is on and dance around the kitchen without any inhibitions or when in the car, do a perfect imitation particularly when it’s a girl singer lol. Before he lived with my sister, I thought that was a girl thing. But apparently not, thank goodness!

There are lots of girl things that I have come across that I have loved and still love in the uncles and cousins, patients and friends too. I know a man who loves black nail polish and getting his nails done who has to hide his love for fear of people’s acid tongues. I know of a younger brother who buys the best hand bags for his sister who is my friend. I know of a cousin who when he was younger loved nothing better than to brush his mum’s gorgeous hair. I know several who love to be hugged just like I do.

Special mention to my dear husband though. I love so much about him but foremost are the girly traits that were like girl-magnet when it came to me. I think the seed of love was planted when he was honest about his feelings and that he let me see how vulnerable falling head over heels had made him. He loves my pink fluffy socks which even I find too girly to wear out and he is not shy to admit it either…he took them all the way to Nigeria when he went to ask for my hand in marriage. My poor sister got a shock when she spotted my socks peeking out beneath his trouser leg. George also has a onesie (I am not sure how to spell it but you know what it is when I say it is like a large baby grow/jumpsuit/overall). He insists that it absolutely is not girly but I beg to differ. On babies is where it should be. On girls, it is cute and could even be a sexy slouchy playsuit-type affair on a young lady. On a boy up to primary school level I could persuaded to see its merits but on a man old enough to shave and father children, I am in the ‘please no’ group. Dearest old George pretended that I could have the onesie when I shared my concerns but did I ever get to wear it? You know the answer to that. The onesie is a bit of a uniform these days and I have to actively order him not to wear it to restaurants or the cinema. He even turned up at the hospital I am currently working in wearing the onesie and asking for me. Oh the embarrassment! If I had known, I would not have owned up to being his wife.

So to my granddad (Baba), Baby A, George and all the unmentioned cousins/friends/little ones that have made my days with their ‘girly’ ways, I love you all and please embrace the girl in you. One love.