Tag Archives: stereotype

Black Sisterhood

I am black. I love being black. I celebrate being black. Earlier this week, I had an incident that to me highlighted what is so amazing about being black and being included in the black brotherhood. Or sisterhood when it comes to us ladies.

My husband borrowed my nice 100% electric eco-loving car on that day because his work car was in for repairs and I was stuck with his super-sexy sporty German turbo-charged something or the other. Honestly, I am a bit of a speed fiend so I wasn’t complaining too loudly and he did custom-order the interior leather colours to suit my taste. So here I was in his sexy car running down to the nearest Charity shop to drop off some bits and bobs. On my way back after another diversion for road works, the fuel low indicator began to flash furiously at me and I thought this was the normal husband thing where the fuel is always a little too low for comfort and I get teased mercilessly for preferring the comfort of a few extra litres, just in case. Anyway, to cut the long story short, as I debated where the nearest fuel station was, the car started to slow down and then cut out shortly afterwards and then I was broken down.

OMG! I managed to steer the car into the inside lane before it cut out completely then called the recovery people. I popped my hazards on and settled down to wait for the lovely recovery people to come save me after a few choice words to my husband which clearly displayed my displeasure at the predicament I found myself in. The first bus that came up to me stopped and pretended a whole lane was not wide enough for him to use and he wanted me out of the way. I pretended not to see him but I was looking as he gestured something rude. A really fat white man.

I got onto my phone and started doing phone things to stave off the boredom that was already overwhelming me 3 minutes into the wait (in a promised less than 1 hour wait). I was engrossed in my phone when I perceived a vehicle slowing down to a halt beside my car. I reluctantly pulled my eyes away from my device when I heard an incredulous voice say ‘oh no, she is on her phone’. My already bad mood immediately worsened and before I could engage the brakes on my mouth, I said ‘Well I am broken down. Is there a law against using my phone when I am stationary?’ It was a white police woman in a police van. She blushed in embarrassment because her jumping to that conclusion was completely prejudiced having seen that here was a young black woman in an expensive car stopped in an unusual position. She apologised immediately and after suggesting that I might perhaps be safer standing out on the pavement, she drove off swiftly. Smh!

As I stood by my car and waited, I had several dirty looks from passing drivers, all white and seemingly hostile because I had the audacity to break down in their path. Never mind that they could all drive past in the unobstructed outer lane. I stared them all down and waited. A black guy driving a delivery van stopped 2 car lengths behind me and offered his assistance. With his help, I managed to reverse back into a better position leaving more space for the outer lane to flow nicely. When he was satisfied I was in a better position, he left with a kind word. My mood much improved, I hummed a song as I paced the pavement. I was broken down in a spot near the Royal Orthopaedic Hospital so I had a few patients stop by to offer their kind help too.

There was a very elderly very English gentleman who tottered over in his tweed jacket to ask if there was anything he could do to assist me. My smile firmly restored, I was able to say no but thank you and watched as he made his slow progress away from me. Next a pair of fellow elderly Africans stopped. I joked that I just needed a parking space and was waiting for them to leave. After they had unsuccessfully tried to guess that I was Nigerian, they commiserated with my situation and offered to let me sit in their car to shelter from the light drizzle. I declined their offer and instead had a debate about the Ebola outbreak and what it would do potentially to us ‘poor’ Africans. I had to reassure the ‘dad’ that I was definitely okay and that the recovery van man had called to say he would be there in the next 15 minutes or so before they reluctantly drove off.

I have been reflecting about this little incident for the past couple of days and my conclusions are as follows. There is definitely a lot of work to be done in inter-racial relations and the negative stereotyping we all do especially when it comes to colour. Britain might like to pretend it is PC and all that but actually there is an undercurrent of racism in a lot of their institutions, the Police being a prime example. The neighbourhood I broke down in was inconveniently the ‘most racist’ one in Birmingham. Northfield – the stronghold of BNP in Birmingham where many EDL supporters live. Allegedly. I am sure many of those white drivers who jumped to conclusions about why my car was stopped on the main road going through Northfield were of the BNP/EDL-persuasion. But who knows?

Most importantly, that incident was a very positive experience for me. First that the lovely old gentleman saw a woman in need and was gentleman enough to offer help that he physically would not have been up to. Second that the black delivery guy took time out of his busy schedule to stop to help a sister and indeed succeeded in making me and my car safer. Lastly that the African pair kept me company and offered to shelter me from the rain. I am thankful that kindness and neighbourly concern are still quality traits on display and that there are still men out there who would go out of their way to offer their assistance to a complete stranger. Despite her gender or colour. I am thankful to be part of a race that believes still in brother- and sister-hood of everyone black and that where we are a minority, there is a code of this black-hood that means they automatically consider us part of one large family. It is such a lovely feeling and it is part of the reason why I love being in Birmingham because I see evidence of such goodness often as I go about my business. Long may these feelings and attitudes continue to prosper!

Separating the Wheat

I was talking to a friend of my husband’s about the politics of Islam and the current trend of labelling every evil person that happens to be Muslim as an ‘Islamist terrorist’. He is Kenyan and grew up in a mixed Muslim and Christian community in Nairobi like I did in Nigeria. Yet he has also been misled by the media who have an agenda. The current agenda being to fuel all the fire in the islamophobic drama and give them more dramatic headlines. People labour under the misapprehension that majority of Muslims are either terrorists or terrorist-supporter and the rest of us are sympathisers with the fanatical extremist groups. Never mind that these extremists are killing us moderate Muslims more than they will ever kill anyone else. Because they want to silence the voices of moderation.

Anyway, this post is to show you words direct from the Prophet of Islam whose teachings we Muslims try to emulate in everyday life. This to me is how I feel about people of other faiths and even no faith. I like many other moderate Muslims want to live together in harmony. We love our neighbours regardless of religion. Oh and breaking news. 99% of us do live together with our non-Muslim neighbours and friends and even family with no evil designs on them.

Through reading via social media, I found this letter written by the Prophet of Islam, Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) where he addresses Christians mainly but I would suggest that actually these words apply to all non-Muslims who interact with Muslims.

I accessed the excerpt from http://www.examiner.com/article/letter-to-all-christians-from-prophet-muhammad

 

(The original letter is now in the Topkapi Museum in Istanbul)

“This is a message from Muhammad ibn Abdullah, as a covenant to those who adopt Christianity, near and far, we are with them. Verily I, the servants, the helpers, and my followers defend them, because Christians are my citizens; and by God! I hold out against anything that displeases them.

No compulsion is to be on them. Neither are their judges to be removed from their jobs nor their monks from their monasteries. No one is to destroy a house of their religion, to damage it, or to carry anything from it to the Muslims’ houses. Should anyone take any of these, he would spoil God’s covenant and disobey His Prophet. Verily, they are my allies and have my secure charter against all that they hate.

No one is to force them to travel or to oblige them to fight. The Muslims are to fight for them. If a female Christian is married to a Muslim, it is not to take place without her approval. She is not to be prevented from visiting her church to pray. Their churches are to be respected. They are neither to be prevented from repairing them nor the sacredness of their covenants. No one of the nation (Muslims) is to disobey the covenant till the Last Day (end of the world).”

English translation from ‘Muslim History: 570 – 1950 C.E.’ by Dr. A. Zahoor and Dr. Z. Haq

Close Call with a Ram

It was late afternoon, probably a Thursday or Friday since we were not at Qur’anic school. It was one of those rare occasions where my sister and I were home with no friends over and we chose to play at home. Normally, we would be round to a neighbour’s house, climbing their guava trees or picking mangoes or just playing with other kids.

On this late afternoon, it was warm as Yola is generally and we were bored. I don’t know which of us had the bright idea but we both thought it was brilliant. We decided to climb onto the wall around the perimeter of our house and run around the whole house. I must have been around 5 or 6 years old and my sister was 8 or 9. My mother’s cousin (around 20 years of age) was in the house somewhere and hadn’t a clue what we were up to. We conferred for a moment as the wall was too high for either of us to climb onto unaided. ‘I know’ I said to my sister. ‘We could get up there by climbing onto the A/C steel cage by Mama’s room’. I was a right little monkey all through my childhood days so if there was anything solid I could climb, I was all over it. This was why I knew that the steel cage around the air-conditioning unit poking out the back of my mama’s room was perfectly positioned for us to get up on the roof and then onto the wall, our destination.

We both got onto the wall safely using the A/C cage and the roof. So far, so good. Then we ran around the house once and I remember enjoying that so much we started a 2nd circuit. As we got to the back right corner of the wall, I looked down and my eyes met with the next-door neighbour’s who I had never clapped eyes on. I was so startled; I jumped back and fell off the wall.

Why was I so startled? Well I’ll tell you. This neighbour was an old lady who never left her little hut which was surrounded by a crooked wall of rusted steel sheets. The children of the neighbourhood never saw her. She was never visited by any relatives. She never left to go to the market for food. She was strange because in old Yola town, no one lived alone. No one was completely visitor-less. Everyone went to the market or sent the younger person living with them to the market for food. So, being children we decided she must be a witch. You know like a witch in the fairy tales of old who were always old women, living alone, doing strange things behind closed doors. The kind of stereotype that is damaging and we all know now is so wrong. But the older kids (the adolescents) used this stereotype to scare us the little kids. We were threatened with being taken to ‘her’ whenever we were naughty and we were scared stiff so it worked a treat. This is why my first sight of her was so startling.

So I fell back into my house and I wasn’t hurt. I think I had a graze or 2 but basically, I was ok. So no harm done, right? Wrong. It was the month leading up to Eid-el-kabir, the big Eid and the Eid that was the Muslim equivalent to Christmas in terms of significance. It was the Eid you were encouraged to slaughter a ram as per Muslim tradition if you could afford it. The idea was to have a 2 day feast with some of the meat and to share the fresh meat and grain with family, friends and neighbours. I digress. What I was leading up to is that we had a ram sequestered in that left back corner of our house, delivered from our granddad’s farm, awaiting Eid day. He was a beautiful animal. Large and white with black spots and long fierce-looking curly horns with sharp tips. And he was bored, kept in captivity on his own.

When I fell into his enclosure, I didn’t notice where I was at first. My sister who had kept her head and feet firmly on the wall spotted him. Her shout alerted me to turn and I looked straight into his eyes. OMG! He pawed the ground (do rams do that?) and my sister and I knew he was about to charge. I had no cover and the wall was too high. My sister was dancing in place, clearly anxious. She reached down with one hand and I stretched up and grabbed her hand with both hands. She tried to pull me up but couldn’t. I looked into her eyes and she looked back at me and I know the panic I felt was what I saw reflected in her eyes. I remember my heart pounding so hard that I couldn’t hear my sister’s instructions. As the ram charged, we braced ourselves and just before his horns made contact with me, she pulled and I jumped. His horns rammed into the wall with a loud crash, narrowly missing my legs which I had curled up and tucked under my chin. As my sister’s grip started to slip, he wheeled around the opposite end of the enclosure and prepared to charge again. I was back on the ground, looking to my sister for guidance. We repeated the grip and hoist, again timed to perfection so he just missed me. My memory makes it seem like we must have done that action several times but thinking back, I think we gripped and hoisted twice and somehow, on the 3rd attempt, my sister heroically hoisted me back onto the wall.

My hero! We sat on the wall, looking at this ram that had nearly gored me and was now looking at us with intent. After we got back our breaths, we got shakily back to our feet, walked back to the roof and got off the wall. By tacit agreement, we didn’t tell anyone what had happened. However, we were so uncharacteristically quiet, I remember someone asking if we were both ok. We must have been convincing enough that we weren’t pressed. We never got back on the wall, bored or not.