Tag Archives: boredom

Swinging Party

No, not that kind of swinging (tut tut!). The good old-fashioned swinging on a swing kind of party. This story goes back a very long time (well over 20 years) so bear with me if I ramble on. Let me set the scene. This happened in Yola, capital ‘City’ of Adamawa State in North East Nigeria circa 1990. That is where I spent my childhood. I was 5 going on 6. I will tell you a little bit about Yola for those of you (I suspect most of you) who know it not.

Yola is a big town or as we residents like to call it a small ‘City’. It is one of the oldest established towns in the region and is the home to one of the biggest surviving Kingdoms (the ‘Adama’ kingdom) which covers a large region from around Taraba State across the North East border of Nigeria into Cameroun covering places like Ngaoundere and Maroua. All are united by the language Fulfulde, ruling the Fulani people. The King resides in old Yola town which is a stone throw from my childhood home. Happily, some of the royal traditions still exists and the Palace is a beautiful example of old Northern Nigerian architecture. I digress. So back to Yola. It is very close to the Sahara and indeed North-East of Yola we do boast an expanse of desert these days as deforestation and global change take hold. By virtue of location, it is very hot. Average temperature is above 35oC and at its peak, it is between 40-45oC. The coolest I remember is about 20oC and we all thought we were going to freeze to death. Again I digress. Suffice it to say, Yola is a traditional town. Hot, dry and home to my childhood memories and many of my family members and the Joda family home.

Now to explain the lack of public services and amenities. The Government does not take its public health and basic amenities seriously to say the least. Up until the last decade, most places do not have a proper waste disposal site. Still a problem in Yola. Electricity is patchy at best despite paying your bills. Water shortage is a chronic problem. Many have to rely on wells and for the more well of, boreholes with (if you can afford it) a mechanised system of pumping water into an overhead tank which then ensures you have a steady clean supply into your home. As you may have realised, in a hot town like Yola this is a very big issue.

We were one of those lucky one who had an overhead tank so water was in plentiful supply most of the time. I think it was early summer holidays before the rainy season was in full swing. On a day that was pregnant with heat, waiting on the next rain and we were bored with nothing to do. We had in the past had a tyre swing on a tree at the back of our house but my sister went and broke her arm so my mum had the tree cut down and we were without swing. We had dogs at home and chains for the rare occasion they were left out of their hut during the day (they were ferocious guard dogs who took their duties very seriously you see so poor neighbours needed protecting). There was 5 year old me. My sister was 9. A neighbour probably 11 years old and a cousin maybe 16 years old. One of us had the bright idea to set up a swing and we quickly realised the dog chains were the strongest rope substitute we had. We then debated where to hitch this swing and looking around the outside, soon settled on the metal frame holding up our water tank. We worked quickly and within minutes, we had our makeshift swing. The metal frame was definitely NOT set up for swinging on so with the swinging came a slight swaying and an ominous sound. Did we pay heed? Not on your life.

We swung merrily away, laughing and having the time of our lives. Our neighbour, Hajja Adama (now sadly departed), who was probably in her 50s then, came to investigate the sounds and discovered our misdeed. We paused, caught in the act and knowing how wrong it was. I don’t know how we did it but we soon convinced her to sit on it and being a much ‘heavier’ customer, the tank frame protested loudly. She jumped off and left but we knew she wouldn’t be reporting us. We got carried away as you do and unfortunately for us, my stepfather caught us in the act and we all got a caning for it. Well-deserved too but you should have heard the shrieks as we jumped about and he tried to cane us on our legs. Of course, the swing was very swiftly dismantled, never to be resurrected again. I might have cursed him too (cheeky little girl that I was) but you know what, the danger and the act of breaking the rules intentionally gave us such joy that I will never forget that swinging day. So good!

Black Sisterhood

I am black. I love being black. I celebrate being black. Earlier this week, I had an incident that to me highlighted what is so amazing about being black and being included in the black brotherhood. Or sisterhood when it comes to us ladies.

My husband borrowed my nice 100% electric eco-loving car on that day because his work car was in for repairs and I was stuck with his super-sexy sporty German turbo-charged something or the other. Honestly, I am a bit of a speed fiend so I wasn’t complaining too loudly and he did custom-order the interior leather colours to suit my taste. So here I was in his sexy car running down to the nearest Charity shop to drop off some bits and bobs. On my way back after another diversion for road works, the fuel low indicator began to flash furiously at me and I thought this was the normal husband thing where the fuel is always a little too low for comfort and I get teased mercilessly for preferring the comfort of a few extra litres, just in case. Anyway, to cut the long story short, as I debated where the nearest fuel station was, the car started to slow down and then cut out shortly afterwards and then I was broken down.

OMG! I managed to steer the car into the inside lane before it cut out completely then called the recovery people. I popped my hazards on and settled down to wait for the lovely recovery people to come save me after a few choice words to my husband which clearly displayed my displeasure at the predicament I found myself in. The first bus that came up to me stopped and pretended a whole lane was not wide enough for him to use and he wanted me out of the way. I pretended not to see him but I was looking as he gestured something rude. A really fat white man.

I got onto my phone and started doing phone things to stave off the boredom that was already overwhelming me 3 minutes into the wait (in a promised less than 1 hour wait). I was engrossed in my phone when I perceived a vehicle slowing down to a halt beside my car. I reluctantly pulled my eyes away from my device when I heard an incredulous voice say ‘oh no, she is on her phone’. My already bad mood immediately worsened and before I could engage the brakes on my mouth, I said ‘Well I am broken down. Is there a law against using my phone when I am stationary?’ It was a white police woman in a police van. She blushed in embarrassment because her jumping to that conclusion was completely prejudiced having seen that here was a young black woman in an expensive car stopped in an unusual position. She apologised immediately and after suggesting that I might perhaps be safer standing out on the pavement, she drove off swiftly. Smh!

As I stood by my car and waited, I had several dirty looks from passing drivers, all white and seemingly hostile because I had the audacity to break down in their path. Never mind that they could all drive past in the unobstructed outer lane. I stared them all down and waited. A black guy driving a delivery van stopped 2 car lengths behind me and offered his assistance. With his help, I managed to reverse back into a better position leaving more space for the outer lane to flow nicely. When he was satisfied I was in a better position, he left with a kind word. My mood much improved, I hummed a song as I paced the pavement. I was broken down in a spot near the Royal Orthopaedic Hospital so I had a few patients stop by to offer their kind help too.

There was a very elderly very English gentleman who tottered over in his tweed jacket to ask if there was anything he could do to assist me. My smile firmly restored, I was able to say no but thank you and watched as he made his slow progress away from me. Next a pair of fellow elderly Africans stopped. I joked that I just needed a parking space and was waiting for them to leave. After they had unsuccessfully tried to guess that I was Nigerian, they commiserated with my situation and offered to let me sit in their car to shelter from the light drizzle. I declined their offer and instead had a debate about the Ebola outbreak and what it would do potentially to us ‘poor’ Africans. I had to reassure the ‘dad’ that I was definitely okay and that the recovery van man had called to say he would be there in the next 15 minutes or so before they reluctantly drove off.

I have been reflecting about this little incident for the past couple of days and my conclusions are as follows. There is definitely a lot of work to be done in inter-racial relations and the negative stereotyping we all do especially when it comes to colour. Britain might like to pretend it is PC and all that but actually there is an undercurrent of racism in a lot of their institutions, the Police being a prime example. The neighbourhood I broke down in was inconveniently the ‘most racist’ one in Birmingham. Northfield – the stronghold of BNP in Birmingham where many EDL supporters live. Allegedly. I am sure many of those white drivers who jumped to conclusions about why my car was stopped on the main road going through Northfield were of the BNP/EDL-persuasion. But who knows?

Most importantly, that incident was a very positive experience for me. First that the lovely old gentleman saw a woman in need and was gentleman enough to offer help that he physically would not have been up to. Second that the black delivery guy took time out of his busy schedule to stop to help a sister and indeed succeeded in making me and my car safer. Lastly that the African pair kept me company and offered to shelter me from the rain. I am thankful that kindness and neighbourly concern are still quality traits on display and that there are still men out there who would go out of their way to offer their assistance to a complete stranger. Despite her gender or colour. I am thankful to be part of a race that believes still in brother- and sister-hood of everyone black and that where we are a minority, there is a code of this black-hood that means they automatically consider us part of one large family. It is such a lovely feeling and it is part of the reason why I love being in Birmingham because I see evidence of such goodness often as I go about my business. Long may these feelings and attitudes continue to prosper!

Close Call with a Ram

It was late afternoon, probably a Thursday or Friday since we were not at Qur’anic school. It was one of those rare occasions where my sister and I were home with no friends over and we chose to play at home. Normally, we would be round to a neighbour’s house, climbing their guava trees or picking mangoes or just playing with other kids.

On this late afternoon, it was warm as Yola is generally and we were bored. I don’t know which of us had the bright idea but we both thought it was brilliant. We decided to climb onto the wall around the perimeter of our house and run around the whole house. I must have been around 5 or 6 years old and my sister was 8 or 9. My mother’s cousin (around 20 years of age) was in the house somewhere and hadn’t a clue what we were up to. We conferred for a moment as the wall was too high for either of us to climb onto unaided. ‘I know’ I said to my sister. ‘We could get up there by climbing onto the A/C steel cage by Mama’s room’. I was a right little monkey all through my childhood days so if there was anything solid I could climb, I was all over it. This was why I knew that the steel cage around the air-conditioning unit poking out the back of my mama’s room was perfectly positioned for us to get up on the roof and then onto the wall, our destination.

We both got onto the wall safely using the A/C cage and the roof. So far, so good. Then we ran around the house once and I remember enjoying that so much we started a 2nd circuit. As we got to the back right corner of the wall, I looked down and my eyes met with the next-door neighbour’s who I had never clapped eyes on. I was so startled; I jumped back and fell off the wall.

Why was I so startled? Well I’ll tell you. This neighbour was an old lady who never left her little hut which was surrounded by a crooked wall of rusted steel sheets. The children of the neighbourhood never saw her. She was never visited by any relatives. She never left to go to the market for food. She was strange because in old Yola town, no one lived alone. No one was completely visitor-less. Everyone went to the market or sent the younger person living with them to the market for food. So, being children we decided she must be a witch. You know like a witch in the fairy tales of old who were always old women, living alone, doing strange things behind closed doors. The kind of stereotype that is damaging and we all know now is so wrong. But the older kids (the adolescents) used this stereotype to scare us the little kids. We were threatened with being taken to ‘her’ whenever we were naughty and we were scared stiff so it worked a treat. This is why my first sight of her was so startling.

So I fell back into my house and I wasn’t hurt. I think I had a graze or 2 but basically, I was ok. So no harm done, right? Wrong. It was the month leading up to Eid-el-kabir, the big Eid and the Eid that was the Muslim equivalent to Christmas in terms of significance. It was the Eid you were encouraged to slaughter a ram as per Muslim tradition if you could afford it. The idea was to have a 2 day feast with some of the meat and to share the fresh meat and grain with family, friends and neighbours. I digress. What I was leading up to is that we had a ram sequestered in that left back corner of our house, delivered from our granddad’s farm, awaiting Eid day. He was a beautiful animal. Large and white with black spots and long fierce-looking curly horns with sharp tips. And he was bored, kept in captivity on his own.

When I fell into his enclosure, I didn’t notice where I was at first. My sister who had kept her head and feet firmly on the wall spotted him. Her shout alerted me to turn and I looked straight into his eyes. OMG! He pawed the ground (do rams do that?) and my sister and I knew he was about to charge. I had no cover and the wall was too high. My sister was dancing in place, clearly anxious. She reached down with one hand and I stretched up and grabbed her hand with both hands. She tried to pull me up but couldn’t. I looked into her eyes and she looked back at me and I know the panic I felt was what I saw reflected in her eyes. I remember my heart pounding so hard that I couldn’t hear my sister’s instructions. As the ram charged, we braced ourselves and just before his horns made contact with me, she pulled and I jumped. His horns rammed into the wall with a loud crash, narrowly missing my legs which I had curled up and tucked under my chin. As my sister’s grip started to slip, he wheeled around the opposite end of the enclosure and prepared to charge again. I was back on the ground, looking to my sister for guidance. We repeated the grip and hoist, again timed to perfection so he just missed me. My memory makes it seem like we must have done that action several times but thinking back, I think we gripped and hoisted twice and somehow, on the 3rd attempt, my sister heroically hoisted me back onto the wall.

My hero! We sat on the wall, looking at this ram that had nearly gored me and was now looking at us with intent. After we got back our breaths, we got shakily back to our feet, walked back to the roof and got off the wall. By tacit agreement, we didn’t tell anyone what had happened. However, we were so uncharacteristically quiet, I remember someone asking if we were both ok. We must have been convincing enough that we weren’t pressed. We never got back on the wall, bored or not.